Don’t Force the Kiss- Brinley Miller

Don’t Force the Kiss



Sometimes in the writing process you try so hard to make a topic work, that all the effort you put in would seem a waste if you don’t use what you’ve written. I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t force the kiss.

When I met Josh Miller, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him (spoiler alert – he ends up becoming my husband). But, I was sure about one thing – he was everything I’d ever dreamed of. But after a really bad relationship recently ending, and having my heart broken – I wasn’t quite ready to be swept off my feet. I let him chase me for a few months, which resulted in Josh being unsure of how I felt about him. I was clear about being interested, but at some point I realized I was falling in love with him, and I really wanted him to kiss me.

Fast forward a few weeks – he still hadn’t kissed me! I was so bummed.

I planned out an entire scheme of how I could make the perfect moment for him to kiss me. We were sitting on a hill in the mountains, overlooking the lights of the city below. Well, I started panicking in the moment and then after we had been sitting there for a while I just said – “are you going to kiss me or what??” He laughed, leaned in, and kissed me. So yeah, it wasn’t the most romantic thing in the world, but I got what I wanted. But did I?

Patience would have been a story-saver here, people. Who wants to tell a first kiss story about how they basically planned the whole thing and made sure it happened? Cue Brinley – type A girl, and flaming red personality who desires power and doing things her way. Nice to meet ya, folks.

Don’t force the kiss. When you’re writing, let the ideas flow – don’t force them into order and hope that they sound good. Appreciate the uncertainty. It may lead you to a great idea that was just cultivating in the other spaces of your mind – waiting to be illuminated.

When you don’t force the kiss – like I did the next time Josh kissed me (why is it also nerve-wracking to kiss the second time after your first kiss, I’ll never know) it was perfect. In its place and effortless.

When you don’t force the kiss, your writing can be extraordinary. It will be real, natural and exactly what the audience needs to hear. Let your topic come to you – if something isn’t working out, take a step back. Chat with a friend to cultivate ideas, read someone else’s writing for some mentoring inspiration, go on a walk and just observe the things around you. With patience, the right topic or path to write will come to you.

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